Cops & Robbers

When I was little I absolutely hated playing “Cops & Robbers” … for a couple of reasons: I didn’t think it was an appropriate message for kids our age … and oh yeah, the REAL reason: I could never catch my cousin (even when I took my shoes off, smh).

So who would have thought that I would still be playing “Cops & Robbers” 20 years later? ... Just a slightly different twist to it: Copping out of my shortcoming, failures, & sin and continuously ROBBING myself of the growth I so justly needed.  #Confession: I actually think 2013 may have been the year of “most excuses ever made” by me.  There’s my truth, so deal.

At the root of all the excuses and cop-outs was simply pride.  Admitting “hey, I screwed up… I dropped the ball … although I DID have good intentions, I didn’t follow through” meant facing that #PerfectPatty isn’t so “perfect” after all.  This is the thing: I didn’t mind NOT being perfect, I just had a problem ADMITTING I wasn’t perfect.  “Perfect Patty messed up.”

Pride made me keep everything I struggled with, battled and face bottled up, emotionally isolated in a crowd of people, and not open up to the people God’s blessed me with to be accountable with. Listen: I got a 4.0 last semester all while my hair was shedding like crazy because of stress and I almost had a mental breakdown.

Didn’t even tell anyone because I thought it showed “weakness”… then I was reminded that not only is God's strength made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9) but also that God has blessed me with people who help me carry me when I’m weak and they are strong (Rom 15:1; Gal 6:2) … as I often do for others.  WHY am I sharing all of this?

Couple reasons: (1) God’s challenging me to be more transparent so He can be glorified even more and (2) I want to encourage you to utilize the folks God’s given you to be authentic with so that you can grow WITHOUT the stress of secret pressures! NOT saying go out and run your business down to the first person you see (discretion is KEY!), but I’m speaking of those people who GOD has hooked you up with. (S/O to MY accountability partners!)

This would be a person who’s proven to be a trustworthy friend, someone who is willing to pray for/with you and respects the weight of your transparency.  Reach out to the people in your life who will call you out on your foolishness in private, correct you in a loving way, then pray for you to be built back up … and you do the same for them as "as iron sharpens iron" (Prov. 27:17).  It’s made a WORLD of difference over here!

Love y'all!

Allison

P.S. - Check out this video "Christians Frontin'" by @whatisjoedoing that actually convicted me about not writing this two weeks ago when I was supposed. (Y'all forgive me tho, right?)

The Life I Planned to Live

Like most middle school girls I, too, played MASH with "big dreams big as St. Louis" (or so 12-year old me thought as my then "dream car" was a 2-door a Honda Accord #nojudgment).  If you're unfamiliar with the game of MASH, it's a game that allows one to choose categories surrounding arbitrary facts of adult life with different options under each category then eliminate all options until only one choice is left in each category.  

For example, MY life was gonna go like this: Married at 25, 2 Kids, driving a Honda Accord, while I worked as a nurse living in a mansion. Lol. Yep, that was some of the life I had planned. 

Fast forward 15 years: 27, Single, No Kids, driving a Chevy Malibu, Working in Higher Ed and living in a house.  Even as a child & during my time in undergrad at Southern (which reflects neither 12-nor 27-year old LouBay), something was missing.... God.

#Confession: over the first 23 years of my life, I gave ZERO thought of what God would want me to do, ZERO thought of any plans God had for me & ZERO thought of a life inclusive of God. I was “on track” but honestly just wasn't happy & spending day after day looking in the mirror frustrated while feeling “stuck” in the middle of everything.

"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” – Mark 8:34-35

The word “save” here means a rescuing that preserves and keeps one unharmed while being in right relationship with God.  When WE try to preserve our own lives (such as doing what society feels is the "right things"), we may get the worldly things everyone desires but at the cost of our relationship with Christ, but when we allow our plans & efforts to be laid aside for Christ to have free range then we are preserved in our relationship with and HE is free to add all those things to us as He sees fit, when He sees fit.

But this is the cool thing: God’s given EACH of us a purpose that not only glorifies Him but also fulfills & preserves us at the same time! WE just have to trust the way He’s chosen to orchestrate it.

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” – Prov. 16:9

The awesome thing about the last 4 years has been that God has ignited a passion within me to encourage other people through Christ’s relentless & unfailing love for us and it’s something I would have NEVER “planned” myself.  Wanting to worship God with my life cost me the plans I made ... BUT  I wake up & go to bed on good days & not-so-great days with joy knowing that I’m fulfilling God’s purpose for me in the midst of work, school, family, & friends. 

I write this because many of you are frustrated with life right now, experiencing a sort of “quarter(ish)-life crisis” and I just want to encourage to truly consider God’s plans for you in the wake of your own and allow Him to do what He does best! I pray we continuously move from "lives that include Christ" to "Christ-centered lives" and in a world where we're so bogged down with "stuff" that we strive to keep Christ first. In your uncertainty, I pray you enter into His presence where there is fullness of joy and that His plans for you exceed your expectations! I love you! J

Clear the Stage x @JimmyNeedham

"Easy" Button

DISCLAIMER: This is probably my most personal blog yet... bare with me for a few. :-)

So this past Sunday (May 26^th) I went here:

I went to the first installment of The Call back in August of last year & it was pretty amazing, just a night of worship with mostly folks my age…no program, no agenda, no mistress of ceremony… just worship. So my expectations for this one were pretty high … and not only were they exceeded, they were demolished. 

I stroll up in The Call Returns to get my praise & worship on… and out of nowhere Lady Robbin Hardy speaks about forgiveness of those who’ve hurt you. Huh? Ma’am…this ain’t what I came here for. I’m thinking “cool, some people in here really need to hear this”…and I’m like “WAIT…. MY feet are moving.”

At first I’m thinking “I don’t have anyone to forgive, I’m straight.”…There were some things & people that I recently forgiven (including myself for some things) … then God reminded me of one group of people that I hadn’t: the people who were involved with my nephew’s death.

Wait … I already forgave them. 

Or at least I thought I did.

Yet there I was, snot-faced, tears streaming … praying for them.  I needed to forgive them for ME, NOT for them.  Even though I thought I had forgiven them, I allowed what they did to change me.

My 18-y/o nephew Carlton Smith (along with his cousin Irise Blakes) was the victim of the violence that BR is all too familiar with on January 31, 2012. Carlton was a happy-go-lucky kid, amazing big brother, son, nephew, cousin & friend who had never been in trouble and was set to begin at BRCC in Summer ’12. Carlton had plans to go there before transferring to Southern University to get a degree in History in his pursuit to be an archaeologist.  We often joked about him wanting to be “THE famous Black archaeologist like Venus & Serena were THE famous Black tennis players.”  Lol.  

This was my nephew whose diapers I changed and shared pretzels, baby carrots & ranch sunflower seeds with until the day he left here, and had a matching Penguin onesie with me & my sister. Yes, the Penguin Onesie you all LOVE to clown. THIS Penguin onesie. J

I’ve spent so much time searching for the “Easy” button on how to forgive them …

Let me save you some trouble if you’re looking for it to forgive some people as well: there ISN’T one.  The unforgiveness in my heart only led to anger, bitterness & a crippling of things God wanted to do through me … Can you imagine the work God could do in our & through our lives once He occupies the space in our heart that unforgiveness resides in?

We have to leave that hurt, pain & anguish with Him – it’s far too heavy for us to continue to carry.  We have been charged by the Word of God to forgive as Christ continuously forgives us. 

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. – Colossians 3:13

Today I encourage you to forgive those who’ve hurt you. YES, it’s hard BUT it’s also healthy and necessary for YOU … for YOU  to heal and for YOU  to have peace.  Trust God’s promises that what they have sown they will reap and that your tears will be reaped with songs of joy.

I absolutely love you!

Allison

P.S. – Thanks again to all of you who kept me & my family in your prayers … they were/are truly needed. J

P.P.S.- Just realized it's been 6 months to the day since the last post ... how cool is God's timing? ;-)

When the chains fell...

Usually I have some witty intro (or at least I try to) to the blog, but today I have one simple question: Where were you when the chains fell?

Huh? I was in chains? What “chains” are you talking about? … Well I’m glad you asked! (Even if you didn’t, humor me by pretending you did)

Many of us have heard the story in Acts 16:16-40 (which you can read here) about how Paul and Silas have been stripped, beaten, and wrongfully imprisoned under careful watch. At midnight, Paul and Silas began to worship God … chained and shackled in a jail cell. As they continued to praise God, an earthquake commenced and the chains that once shackled Paul and Silas were broken.

So back to the question: Where were YOU when the chains fell? Allow yourself to remember back to the point where you felt you were at your darkest hour … where you felt all odds stacked against you ... Picture the heartbreak, sadness, fear, brokenness you felt at that VERY moment …

… and now picture the moment where God delivered you from some stuff, some things, some habits and even some people and replaced that with joy, hope, and love. Can you hear the “chains” falling? Can you feel the guilt, the hurt, the shame, the disappointment falling off?

Something that REALLY stood out that passage of scripture is when the guard is awakened by the earthquake and goes to kill himself because he thinks the prisoners have escaped, Paul stops him by saying they are all there (v.27-28). The jailer then realizes the power of God’s hand on the life of Paul and Silas and asks what must he do to be saved.

Had Paul and Silas escaped, the jailer (and subsequently his family) would not have been saved. Paul and Silas chose to let the power of God deliver them instead of escaping. Had they “escaped,” God wouldn’t have gotten any glory and no lives would have been saved. The next morning the decision was made to release Paul and Silas privately … but Paul made them escort them out PUBLICLY to display God’s power.

Had Paul and Silas escaped rather been delivered, they would have had to hide, “lay low”, and sneak around to get to another place where they could minister ... all while “watching their back” from the past they were running from.  Escaping would have traded the literal chains for the figurative chains of being “on the run.”

When we “escape” things instead of being delivered from them, we usher in a certain silence with a cloud of secrecy hovering over it. When people escape, they can’t FREELY talk about it, they can’t blast their story to the world… they have to “lay low” and stay hidden.

When you “escape” you silence your testimony! Deliverance produces a freedom that escaping never can! God wants you FREE to talk about what He’s brought you out of!

AFTER the chains were broken Paul’s conversation with the jailer saved his life. The Bible says that we overcome by the Blood of the Lamb AND by the word of our testimony … how many of US have silenced our testimony by escaping rather than being truly delivered?

I want to submit to you that every chain that’s been broken off of your life wasn’t just for you but for you to display God’s power to someone else so that they may be saved. For every “chain” that’s come off of you, God has blessed you with a word of encouragement to share with someone else.

It is my prayer that we stop trying to “escape” and submit to God’s power to deliver us and BREAK EVERY CHAIN in our lives. Lord I pray that you will break the chains of sin, hurt, pain, disappointment, negative relationships, emotional distress, fear, shame, guilt, worthlessness, and any other chain that has us physically, emotionally or spiritually bound to the things of our past. Remind us Lord that there is NO CONDEMNATION to those who are in Christ Jesus, You are FAITHFUL AND JUST to forgive us, and help us to remember that although we are called to share our testimonies we DO NOT have to JUSTIFY the grace that You have shown us!

I pray that you find yourself in God’s presence, where there is liberty and fullness of joy, as you rest in the fact that whom the Son has set free is free INDEED!

Below is Tasha Cobbs' performance of "Break Every Chain" from WTAL 2012. You can follow her at @tashacobbs and get the single on iTunes & Amazon!

I love you and rejoice with you as the chains fall!

Allison

"Cash Out"

Quick question: have you ever purchased a relatively expensive gift for yourself and had people try to get you to explain WHY you would spend THAT amount of money on that particular item? (Examples iPhone 5, iPad mini, (no Apple shade tho!), Concords, LeBrons, or a Certain Shoe or Clothing brand…whatever the case may be.) …And THEN have them suggest what THEY would’ve done with that amount of money?

Most people’s first thought is something along the “you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym” train of thought or one that suggests “you-don’t-know-how-hard-I-work-for-my-money-and-therefore-have-no-right-to-tell-me-how-to-spend-it.” Often times we sacrifice for what we want (publicly AND privately) only to have it criticized by those who won’t be affected either way. After all THAT sacrifice, you won’t let ANYONE discredit what you went THROUGH to get what you want.

Over the last 26 years I’ve come to realize something most folks know, values vary among people. Not everything carries the same weight to different people. For instance, $1 isn’t the same to me as it is to Diddy. *Diddy bops*

“Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him,objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” –  John 12:3-5

A few quick points and I’ll be out.

·         Judas, the person IN the church, was SO worried about the CONTENTS of the box, he missed the CONDITION of the woman. A woman, bowed low before her Lord & King (who had also just raised her brother Lazarus from death in John 11) to anoint Jesus as her sacrificial worship. Her worship was birthed out of gratitude!

o   When someone gives COSTLY worship to God, who are we to judge what their worship SHOULD cost? We gotta stop judging folks’ worship!

·         Honestly, it seems like Judas was just trying to help right? Nah … he good. “He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.” – John 12:6 … Judas was the treasurer …but he was also stealing to benefit his own needs.

      o   NO ONE knows the price you’ve paid for your worship, therefore NO ONE can tell you HOW to 

           worship! #Confession: I’ll admit it, I used to call folks “Jesus Freaks” because of THEIR 

           style/method of worship (forgive me! Lol) but after THIS year, can’t NO ONE tell me how to 

           worship because NO ONE knows exactly WHAT it cost me.

·        Sometimes your worship will cost you EVERYTHING! 

When’s the last time you truly worshiped? Does your level of worship reflect your level of gratitude?

Today, I encourage you to get to a place where you can FREELY worship God. Enjoy the peace & joy that worship brings, don’t let ANYONE suppress your worship and surround yourself with people who understand & don’t question your worship! 

Ponder on God's goodness, grace & mercy ...reflect on the gratitude in your heart ... and worship accordingly!

Love you lots ... Not just the cliche' type either, like I REALLY love you! :)

Allison (<--yes, that's actually my real name & not LouBay, contrary to popular belief....but I still answer to both, Lol)

“Are you really ready for ‘Boaz?’”

     As summer unfolds, we have begun to see our friends and family upload pictures from their various excursions ranging from children and parents frolicking at Disney World to our peers lying out on the beach with the girls to… wedding pictures.  Yes, beautifully decorated, heart-warming, love-filled wedding pictures of yet another person who isn’t you.

     This is not to say that you are not thrilled for your family member, friend, co-worker or the waitress at your favorite restaurant, but the thought may pop into your head of “when will it be my turn?”  As a single, 26-year old Christian woman, I can honestly say that I have had that thought and many others similar to it, namely “where is MY ‘Boaz?’” For those unfamiliar with “Boaz,” he is the subject of probably the most widely known “romantic love story” in the Bible, who essentially sweeps widowed Ruth off her feet.

     As a Christian woman who wants to date, fall madly in love with and spend the rest of my life with a Christian husband, I certainly had a laundry list of prerequisites for my “Boaz.” Although some of the things on my “list” may have been valid (and some just as foolish), I never gave thought to how I would match up to the list “Boaz” presented.  A friend pointed out something that I will never forget: I was so preoccupied with “Boaz” that I had failed to become “Ruth.”  Not just “damsel in distress Ruth” but possessing the true character of Ruth, one who exemplified the love of Christ through selfless giving, service to those around her, diligence, and gentleness coupled with wisdom and a healed heart from past hurts.

     Many women fail to realize that despite Ruth’s happy ending, she tirelessly gave of herself to bring joy to those around her before “Boaz” ever entered the picture (and she worked, lol).  Before Ruth was ever married (to Boaz)she was useful for God’s service as a single woman. When Boaz first saw Ruth and inquired of her, the servant’s response was not about her looks, her education, or her fashion sense but about her heart of service and expressions of love… and that’s what caught his eye. Ruth didn’t allow herself to be plagued by her past hurts and welcomed the opportunity for love …when it presented itself.

     RELAX …and Get Busy for God!  As you await your “Boaz” do all YOU can to become “Ruth” first!

I've heard lots of men say that a woman's smile can be one the most attractive things ... Women: when's the last time you SMILED?....Like cheesing DOWN because you were content with WHO you are & WHERE you are in God? ;-)

Love you lots! 

Allison :-)

"Released & Redeemed"

"Redeem me from human oppression, that I may obey your precepts." - Ps 119:134

God has to REMOVE some people from our lives for us to obey His Word! The word "oppress" means to press upon, defraud, distress, violate, or deceive others. Sometimes we get SO tangled up in friendships and relationships that press upon, defraud, distress, violate and deceive us from following God's Word. "Redeem me from human oppression" tells us that it's NOT something that we can do in our own strength...YES, it's HARD to cut THAT relationship off or THAT friendship, but God will do so IF we let Him! THEN we will be able to keep His Word.

You ever thought "why do I feel comfortable doing certain things ONLY around certain people?" Like you have a habit you said you're gonna quit 1,000 times but you ONLY do it when a certain person comes around? The people in our environment shape our behavior, no matter if we WANT to admit it or not! (Cc: Prov 27:17) "Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” - 1 Cor 15:33

I pray that we allow God to release us from the pleasing of man, the weight of man's opinions & false approvals and that we all fully embrace the Word of God allowing it to shape our lives!

Happy Wednesday :)

I love you!
Allison