The Life I Planned to Live

Like most middle school girls I, too, played MASH with "big dreams big as St. Louis" (or so 12-year old me thought as my then "dream car" was a 2-door a Honda Accord #nojudgment).  If you're unfamiliar with the game of MASH, it's a game that allows one to choose categories surrounding arbitrary facts of adult life with different options under each category then eliminate all options until only one choice is left in each category.  

For example, MY life was gonna go like this: Married at 25, 2 Kids, driving a Honda Accord, while I worked as a nurse living in a mansion. Lol. Yep, that was some of the life I had planned. 

Fast forward 15 years: 27, Single, No Kids, driving a Chevy Malibu, Working in Higher Ed and living in a house.  Even as a child & during my time in undergrad at Southern (which reflects neither 12-nor 27-year old LouBay), something was missing.... God.

#Confession: over the first 23 years of my life, I gave ZERO thought of what God would want me to do, ZERO thought of any plans God had for me & ZERO thought of a life inclusive of God. I was “on track” but honestly just wasn't happy & spending day after day looking in the mirror frustrated while feeling “stuck” in the middle of everything.

"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” – Mark 8:34-35

The word “save” here means a rescuing that preserves and keeps one unharmed while being in right relationship with God.  When WE try to preserve our own lives (such as doing what society feels is the "right things"), we may get the worldly things everyone desires but at the cost of our relationship with Christ, but when we allow our plans & efforts to be laid aside for Christ to have free range then we are preserved in our relationship with and HE is free to add all those things to us as He sees fit, when He sees fit.

But this is the cool thing: God’s given EACH of us a purpose that not only glorifies Him but also fulfills & preserves us at the same time! WE just have to trust the way He’s chosen to orchestrate it.

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” – Prov. 16:9

The awesome thing about the last 4 years has been that God has ignited a passion within me to encourage other people through Christ’s relentless & unfailing love for us and it’s something I would have NEVER “planned” myself.  Wanting to worship God with my life cost me the plans I made ... BUT  I wake up & go to bed on good days & not-so-great days with joy knowing that I’m fulfilling God’s purpose for me in the midst of work, school, family, & friends. 

I write this because many of you are frustrated with life right now, experiencing a sort of “quarter(ish)-life crisis” and I just want to encourage to truly consider God’s plans for you in the wake of your own and allow Him to do what He does best! I pray we continuously move from "lives that include Christ" to "Christ-centered lives" and in a world where we're so bogged down with "stuff" that we strive to keep Christ first. In your uncertainty, I pray you enter into His presence where there is fullness of joy and that His plans for you exceed your expectations! I love you! J

Clear the Stage x @JimmyNeedham