Mask Off

Don’t you hate whenever you go to the doctor and they’re swamped/backed up or had to step out of the office? You’ve taken time out of your schedule to get to them and you’re ready to get treated that day. (Sometimes there’s this whole mental preparation that goes into going to the doctor’s office for some folks, like moi.)

On some days when the doctor’s running behind, the nurse may inform you that you’ll be able to see the Physician’s Assistant (PA) to get you in, treated, and on your way… cool. Seems like a pretty normal scenario/course of events right? Nothing strange about seeing the PA right? They’ve gone to school, been licensed, and dispatched by the actual doctor. Cool?

Now that we have *that* understood, let me talk to all of my “strong people” out there… pull up.

Why is it so hard to accept the help that the Lord has sent to you in the form of the good people He’s placed in your life?

For people who are always used to taking care of everything and everyone else, it’s oftentimes extremely hard to accept or even properly utilize help when we’re offered it. Just like in the physical absence of the doctor (the Great Physician), the Physician's Assistant is given + entrusted with the authority to see/treat you.  

After you’re taken to the back at the doctor’s office, you’re usually asked a series of questions, about what brings you in, how you’re feeling, etc. Think about how before the questions start, the door is always closed before they begin. There's intentional privacy created in the room because it requires your transparency and accurate treatment requires honest confession. When is the last time you honestly told a friend how you were doing when they asked? How long have you been hiding behind a facade?

Quit fronting.

For me, that moment was about 2 years ago when my best friend sent a text asking “Are you okay?” It took me almost 20 minutes to text back “no” … through a flurry of tears, a snotty nose, and anxiety being on TEN that day. Something in our friendship broke that day… in the most beautiful way. Allowing her to comfort, console, and pray for me pushed both of us to another level spiritually that day. I literally do not know what would have become of my mental state if I had not simply been honest with her that day.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. - James 5:16

There is a required vulnerability before the Lord …and those assigned to you to help get you where you need to be spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. 

Caveat: The nurse may ask you questions first, but they’re only authorized to treat/diagnose up to a certain point. And that's not a diss to the nurse, but that's out of her authority/scope. Message?

Everybody ain’t authorized for everything. 

Wisdom + discretion are key!

I encourage you to take inventory of all of the people God has sent to assist you on your journey and I pray that you realize that in your weakness, His strength is made perfect… even if it’s in the form of sending other people to help you carry the load. It's my prayer that you recognize those who the Lord has given for you to be your authentic self with, even when you take the mask off!

I love you & as always, praying for you!

LouBay!

x

A GOOD Day Indeed

As a resident of a state (Louisiana) with strong cultural + deeply religious ties to the Christian faith (irrespective of denomination), I’m currently beginning a long weekend starting with today… Good Friday. Depending on who you talk to, the day is usually commemorated with celebration and/or solemn remembrance. This day marks one of *the* most important days in the Christian religion, the day when Jesus offered up His life to save us. Today symbolizes the day love CHOSE us.

Typing those words still shakes me to my core. Like, I *know* me … I mess up, I’m not always as nice as I would like to think that I am, I don’t always apologize when I should because my pride would get in the way, and sometimes I get an attitude (usually from a combination of lack of prayer + food… fight me).

Yet, the Son of Man … King of Kings … Lord of Lords … decides “Yep, her… I’m going to give my life for HER.”                                   

In all honesty, there are some days when I become overwhelmed with the love + grace shown to me in times where I probably wouldn’t have given it to myself. It is on those days that I am reminded that God’s plan + purpose is always greater and always wins in the end. God sees the fullness of purpose in us even when we can’t fathom how we’ll make it another moment.

Think of the absolute hardest or most difficult day you have ever had… know what it has in common with everyone else reading this? We all made it past it. Some more broken, hurt, or scarred than others… but we all made it.

With our steps ordered by God, we are sometimes brought to a place that we think is literally going to take us out.  Let me offer you this: the hard place/thing was never to break you but to grow you and glorify the Father.  Literally, as the time of Jesus’ death approached, know what His response was?

In a few verses above this (v.24), Jesus tells them that He must die so that His life will produce a plentiful harvest of new lives. He was willing to lay His life down so that we would have ours. He submitted to the Lord’s plan unto death trusting the harvest to come.

…So now, that we’ve discussed our Savior laying His life down for others… what do you have to let die so that you can live again and others around you can thrive? Jesus literally laid down His life so that we may have life and life more abundantly… 

What’s keeping you from abundance?

The abundance I speak of is in regards to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control … the saturating, overwhelming manifestation of the Holy Spirit at work in your life.

As we enter this Easter/Resurrection weekend, take a moment to reflect on how submissive you are to the work the Lord wants to do in, on, & through you to grow you and glorify Him.

What are you willing to lose to win again? Is it hatred? Pride? Anger? Gossiping? Discord? Toxic relationships? Unforgiveness?

It is my prayer that we all honestly look inward and relinquish everything that prohibits the free flow of God’s love, peace, & joy in our lives so that we can better serve our God, our families/communities and ourselves.

Love you guys!

LouBay :-) 

YOUR Dream Deferred

***Disclaimer*** I will be perfectly honest and admit this definitely applies to me as well!

It’s 2014. People you know are writing books, relocating, starting new jobs, building viable side business ventures, graduating and even going back to school … all in an effort to live out THEIR dream.  My question: what are YOU doing to live out YOUR dream?

You've prayed about your dream (and maybe even fasted about it), you've planned it all out in your head, and NOTHING has happened.

What if I told you YOU'RE the reason your dream has been deferred? What if I told you there has been no progress on your dream because YOU haven't made a move? That praying then failing to put in work is just as futile as putting in work without praying? 

The bottom line is you need both Young Nehemiah. Build (pray) with one hand and fight (work) with the other, but continue both... you can't afford to stop doing either! We often hear “write the vision and make it plain” … but we often leave out the succeeding text of “that he may run who reads it” … So, you’ve written the vision and you’ve read it … but have you RAN with it?

Yes, your dream seems too big & too daunting of a task at times but God is bigger and He'll complete that good work He began in you. Ask God to search your heart and show you what YOU’RE afraid of regarding that which you have been called to do. God has not given you, me, your cousin or your mama a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind … so let’s GEAUX! (Excuse my Louisiana jargon!)

This year I’m running with the vision God gave me … and I pray you do the same for the vision He’s given you ... Now get busy running!

I'm Gone!

Love you lots!

Allison

Cops & Robbers

When I was little I absolutely hated playing “Cops & Robbers” … for a couple of reasons: I didn’t think it was an appropriate message for kids our age … and oh yeah, the REAL reason: I could never catch my cousin (even when I took my shoes off, smh).

So who would have thought that I would still be playing “Cops & Robbers” 20 years later? ... Just a slightly different twist to it: Copping out of my shortcoming, failures, & sin and continuously ROBBING myself of the growth I so justly needed.  #Confession: I actually think 2013 may have been the year of “most excuses ever made” by me.  There’s my truth, so deal.

At the root of all the excuses and cop-outs was simply pride.  Admitting “hey, I screwed up… I dropped the ball … although I DID have good intentions, I didn’t follow through” meant facing that #PerfectPatty isn’t so “perfect” after all.  This is the thing: I didn’t mind NOT being perfect, I just had a problem ADMITTING I wasn’t perfect.  “Perfect Patty messed up.”

Pride made me keep everything I struggled with, battled and face bottled up, emotionally isolated in a crowd of people, and not open up to the people God’s blessed me with to be accountable with. Listen: I got a 4.0 last semester all while my hair was shedding like crazy because of stress and I almost had a mental breakdown.

Didn’t even tell anyone because I thought it showed “weakness”… then I was reminded that not only is God's strength made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9) but also that God has blessed me with people who help me carry me when I’m weak and they are strong (Rom 15:1; Gal 6:2) … as I often do for others.  WHY am I sharing all of this?

Couple reasons: (1) God’s challenging me to be more transparent so He can be glorified even more and (2) I want to encourage you to utilize the folks God’s given you to be authentic with so that you can grow WITHOUT the stress of secret pressures! NOT saying go out and run your business down to the first person you see (discretion is KEY!), but I’m speaking of those people who GOD has hooked you up with. (S/O to MY accountability partners!)

This would be a person who’s proven to be a trustworthy friend, someone who is willing to pray for/with you and respects the weight of your transparency.  Reach out to the people in your life who will call you out on your foolishness in private, correct you in a loving way, then pray for you to be built back up … and you do the same for them as "as iron sharpens iron" (Prov. 27:17).  It’s made a WORLD of difference over here!

Love y'all!

Allison

P.S. - Check out this video "Christians Frontin'" by @whatisjoedoing that actually convicted me about not writing this two weeks ago when I was supposed. (Y'all forgive me tho, right?)

The Life I Planned to Live

Like most middle school girls I, too, played MASH with "big dreams big as St. Louis" (or so 12-year old me thought as my then "dream car" was a 2-door a Honda Accord #nojudgment).  If you're unfamiliar with the game of MASH, it's a game that allows one to choose categories surrounding arbitrary facts of adult life with different options under each category then eliminate all options until only one choice is left in each category.  

For example, MY life was gonna go like this: Married at 25, 2 Kids, driving a Honda Accord, while I worked as a nurse living in a mansion. Lol. Yep, that was some of the life I had planned. 

Fast forward 15 years: 27, Single, No Kids, driving a Chevy Malibu, Working in Higher Ed and living in a house.  Even as a child & during my time in undergrad at Southern (which reflects neither 12-nor 27-year old LouBay), something was missing.... God.

#Confession: over the first 23 years of my life, I gave ZERO thought of what God would want me to do, ZERO thought of any plans God had for me & ZERO thought of a life inclusive of God. I was “on track” but honestly just wasn't happy & spending day after day looking in the mirror frustrated while feeling “stuck” in the middle of everything.

"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” – Mark 8:34-35

The word “save” here means a rescuing that preserves and keeps one unharmed while being in right relationship with God.  When WE try to preserve our own lives (such as doing what society feels is the "right things"), we may get the worldly things everyone desires but at the cost of our relationship with Christ, but when we allow our plans & efforts to be laid aside for Christ to have free range then we are preserved in our relationship with and HE is free to add all those things to us as He sees fit, when He sees fit.

But this is the cool thing: God’s given EACH of us a purpose that not only glorifies Him but also fulfills & preserves us at the same time! WE just have to trust the way He’s chosen to orchestrate it.

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” – Prov. 16:9

The awesome thing about the last 4 years has been that God has ignited a passion within me to encourage other people through Christ’s relentless & unfailing love for us and it’s something I would have NEVER “planned” myself.  Wanting to worship God with my life cost me the plans I made ... BUT  I wake up & go to bed on good days & not-so-great days with joy knowing that I’m fulfilling God’s purpose for me in the midst of work, school, family, & friends. 

I write this because many of you are frustrated with life right now, experiencing a sort of “quarter(ish)-life crisis” and I just want to encourage to truly consider God’s plans for you in the wake of your own and allow Him to do what He does best! I pray we continuously move from "lives that include Christ" to "Christ-centered lives" and in a world where we're so bogged down with "stuff" that we strive to keep Christ first. In your uncertainty, I pray you enter into His presence where there is fullness of joy and that His plans for you exceed your expectations! I love you! J

Clear the Stage x @JimmyNeedham

"Easy" Button

DISCLAIMER: This is probably my most personal blog yet... bare with me for a few. :-)

So this past Sunday (May 26^th) I went here:

I went to the first installment of The Call back in August of last year & it was pretty amazing, just a night of worship with mostly folks my age…no program, no agenda, no mistress of ceremony… just worship. So my expectations for this one were pretty high … and not only were they exceeded, they were demolished. 

I stroll up in The Call Returns to get my praise & worship on… and out of nowhere Lady Robbin Hardy speaks about forgiveness of those who’ve hurt you. Huh? Ma’am…this ain’t what I came here for. I’m thinking “cool, some people in here really need to hear this”…and I’m like “WAIT…. MY feet are moving.”

At first I’m thinking “I don’t have anyone to forgive, I’m straight.”…There were some things & people that I recently forgiven (including myself for some things) … then God reminded me of one group of people that I hadn’t: the people who were involved with my nephew’s death.

Wait … I already forgave them. 

Or at least I thought I did.

Yet there I was, snot-faced, tears streaming … praying for them.  I needed to forgive them for ME, NOT for them.  Even though I thought I had forgiven them, I allowed what they did to change me.

My 18-y/o nephew Carlton Smith (along with his cousin Irise Blakes) was the victim of the violence that BR is all too familiar with on January 31, 2012. Carlton was a happy-go-lucky kid, amazing big brother, son, nephew, cousin & friend who had never been in trouble and was set to begin at BRCC in Summer ’12. Carlton had plans to go there before transferring to Southern University to get a degree in History in his pursuit to be an archaeologist.  We often joked about him wanting to be “THE famous Black archaeologist like Venus & Serena were THE famous Black tennis players.”  Lol.  

This was my nephew whose diapers I changed and shared pretzels, baby carrots & ranch sunflower seeds with until the day he left here, and had a matching Penguin onesie with me & my sister. Yes, the Penguin Onesie you all LOVE to clown. THIS Penguin onesie. J

I’ve spent so much time searching for the “Easy” button on how to forgive them …

Let me save you some trouble if you’re looking for it to forgive some people as well: there ISN’T one.  The unforgiveness in my heart only led to anger, bitterness & a crippling of things God wanted to do through me … Can you imagine the work God could do in our & through our lives once He occupies the space in our heart that unforgiveness resides in?

We have to leave that hurt, pain & anguish with Him – it’s far too heavy for us to continue to carry.  We have been charged by the Word of God to forgive as Christ continuously forgives us. 

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. – Colossians 3:13

Today I encourage you to forgive those who’ve hurt you. YES, it’s hard BUT it’s also healthy and necessary for YOU … for YOU  to heal and for YOU  to have peace.  Trust God’s promises that what they have sown they will reap and that your tears will be reaped with songs of joy.

I absolutely love you!

Allison

P.S. – Thanks again to all of you who kept me & my family in your prayers … they were/are truly needed. J

P.P.S.- Just realized it's been 6 months to the day since the last post ... how cool is God's timing? ;-)

When the chains fell...

Usually I have some witty intro (or at least I try to) to the blog, but today I have one simple question: Where were you when the chains fell?

Huh? I was in chains? What “chains” are you talking about? … Well I’m glad you asked! (Even if you didn’t, humor me by pretending you did)

Many of us have heard the story in Acts 16:16-40 (which you can read here) about how Paul and Silas have been stripped, beaten, and wrongfully imprisoned under careful watch. At midnight, Paul and Silas began to worship God … chained and shackled in a jail cell. As they continued to praise God, an earthquake commenced and the chains that once shackled Paul and Silas were broken.

So back to the question: Where were YOU when the chains fell? Allow yourself to remember back to the point where you felt you were at your darkest hour … where you felt all odds stacked against you ... Picture the heartbreak, sadness, fear, brokenness you felt at that VERY moment …

… and now picture the moment where God delivered you from some stuff, some things, some habits and even some people and replaced that with joy, hope, and love. Can you hear the “chains” falling? Can you feel the guilt, the hurt, the shame, the disappointment falling off?

Something that REALLY stood out that passage of scripture is when the guard is awakened by the earthquake and goes to kill himself because he thinks the prisoners have escaped, Paul stops him by saying they are all there (v.27-28). The jailer then realizes the power of God’s hand on the life of Paul and Silas and asks what must he do to be saved.

Had Paul and Silas escaped, the jailer (and subsequently his family) would not have been saved. Paul and Silas chose to let the power of God deliver them instead of escaping. Had they “escaped,” God wouldn’t have gotten any glory and no lives would have been saved. The next morning the decision was made to release Paul and Silas privately … but Paul made them escort them out PUBLICLY to display God’s power.

Had Paul and Silas escaped rather been delivered, they would have had to hide, “lay low”, and sneak around to get to another place where they could minister ... all while “watching their back” from the past they were running from.  Escaping would have traded the literal chains for the figurative chains of being “on the run.”

When we “escape” things instead of being delivered from them, we usher in a certain silence with a cloud of secrecy hovering over it. When people escape, they can’t FREELY talk about it, they can’t blast their story to the world… they have to “lay low” and stay hidden.

When you “escape” you silence your testimony! Deliverance produces a freedom that escaping never can! God wants you FREE to talk about what He’s brought you out of!

AFTER the chains were broken Paul’s conversation with the jailer saved his life. The Bible says that we overcome by the Blood of the Lamb AND by the word of our testimony … how many of US have silenced our testimony by escaping rather than being truly delivered?

I want to submit to you that every chain that’s been broken off of your life wasn’t just for you but for you to display God’s power to someone else so that they may be saved. For every “chain” that’s come off of you, God has blessed you with a word of encouragement to share with someone else.

It is my prayer that we stop trying to “escape” and submit to God’s power to deliver us and BREAK EVERY CHAIN in our lives. Lord I pray that you will break the chains of sin, hurt, pain, disappointment, negative relationships, emotional distress, fear, shame, guilt, worthlessness, and any other chain that has us physically, emotionally or spiritually bound to the things of our past. Remind us Lord that there is NO CONDEMNATION to those who are in Christ Jesus, You are FAITHFUL AND JUST to forgive us, and help us to remember that although we are called to share our testimonies we DO NOT have to JUSTIFY the grace that You have shown us!

I pray that you find yourself in God’s presence, where there is liberty and fullness of joy, as you rest in the fact that whom the Son has set free is free INDEED!

Below is Tasha Cobbs' performance of "Break Every Chain" from WTAL 2012. You can follow her at @tashacobbs and get the single on iTunes & Amazon!

I love you and rejoice with you as the chains fall!

Allison