DISCLAIMER: This is probably my most personal blog yet... bare with me for a few. :-)
So this past Sunday (May 26th) I went here:
I went to the
first installment of The Call back in August of last year & it was pretty
amazing, just a night of worship with mostly folks my age…no program, no
agenda, no mistress of ceremony… just worship. So my expectations for this one
were pretty high … and not only were they exceeded, they were demolished.
I stroll up in The
Call Returns to get my praise & worship on… and out of nowhere Lady Robbin
Hardy speaks about forgiveness of those who’ve hurt you. Huh? Ma’am…this ain’t
what I came here for. I’m thinking “cool, some people in here really need to
hear this”…and I’m like “WAIT…. MY feet
are moving.”
At first I’m thinking “I don’t have anyone to forgive, I’m
straight.”…There were some things & people that I recently forgiven
(including myself for some things) … then God reminded me of one group of
people that I hadn’t: the people who were involved with my nephew’s death.
Wait … I already forgave them.
Or at least I thought I did.
Yet there I was, snot-faced, tears streaming … praying
for them. I needed to forgive them for
ME, NOT for them. Even though I thought
I had forgiven them, I allowed what they did to change me.
My 18-y/o nephew Carlton Smith (along with his cousin
Irise Blakes) was the victim of the violence that BR is all too familiar with
on January 31, 2012. Carlton was a happy-go-lucky kid, amazing big brother,
son, nephew, cousin & friend who had never been in trouble and was set to
begin at BRCC in Summer ’12. Carlton had plans to go there before transferring
to Southern University to get a degree in History in his pursuit to be an
archaeologist. We often joked about him wanting
to be “THE famous Black archaeologist like Venus & Serena were THE famous
Black tennis players.” Lol.
This was my nephew whose diapers I changed and shared
pretzels, baby carrots & ranch sunflower seeds with until the day he left
here, and had a matching Penguin onesie with me & my sister. Yes, the
Penguin Onesie you all LOVE to clown. THIS
Penguin onesie. J
I’ve spent so much time searching for the “Easy” button on how to forgive them …
Let me save you some trouble if you’re looking for
it to forgive some people as well: there ISN’T one. The unforgiveness in my heart only led to anger,
bitterness & a crippling of things God wanted to do through me … Can you imagine
the work God could do in our & through our lives once He occupies the space
in our heart that unforgiveness resides in?
We have to leave
that hurt, pain & anguish with Him – it’s far too heavy for us to continue
to carry. We have been charged by the Word of God to
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who
offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. –
Colossians 3:13
Today I encourage you to forgive those who’ve hurt you.
YES, it’s hard BUT it’s also healthy and necessary for YOU … for YOU to heal
and for YOU to have peace. Trust God’s
promises that what they have sown they will reap and that your tears will be
reaped with songs of joy.
I absolutely love you!
Allison
P.S. – Thanks again to all of you who kept me & my
family in your prayers … they were/are truly needed. J
P.P.S.- Just realized it's been 6 months to the day since the last post ... how cool is God's timing? ;-)
